100 Things

1. This may take me days

2. I love Flips Flops and wear them all day long in the house

3. I used to hate flip flops because of the huge gap between my big toe

4. My aunt told me when I was little I had six toes when I was born and the doctor cut one off. Hence the big gap

5. That was untrue

6. I have only one sibling a brother

7. I used to dream I had many more siblings and would name them

8. My bestfriend is my cousin

9. my former bestfriend and I hardly speak anymore. We didnt have a fight but I was tired of a friendship being so much work.

10. My daughter was an "accident" and my son was a "miracle" who took eight years to have

11. I am terrible at math aside from adding and counting back change

12. In grade 11 Mr.Smith said he would pass me in the crappy math class,if I promised not to take it in grade 12.

13. I didnt take it

14. my parents moved 3hours away in the summer before grade 12

15. I moved with them and then begged to go back and graduate with my friends

16. I loved grade 12 but I majorly rebelled

17. I stayed with highschool bestfriend and her family

18. I saw her dad beat her mom twice{my only time ever witnessing domestic violence to this day}

19. She kicked him out and then took him back

20. Supposedly they are all happier now and the abuse has stopped

21. I had a very serious boyfriend that summer and after we graduated I moved in with him and his family

22. In hindsight it was a mistake, we were too young

23. I met my husband on the rebound

24. We were also too young

25. His parents blamed me for his rebelling

26. It wasnt true I used to tell him to go home to his family

27. We got married because we were pregnant but we were already engaged

28. My mom and I planned a huge Italian wedding in 3 months.

29. People told me invite alot they dont all come. We invited 320. My husbands side was almost double.

30. 321 came

31. We got a few strange requests. One second cousin on Joes side called and asked if he could bring his girlfriends parents because she wasnt allowed overnight to another city.

32. Our MC another second cousin on the same side called and asked if he could bring his bodygaurd and wife. { he was modern day mafia}

33. The bodygaurd gave us a huge boosta{envelope}

34. There was a huge fight the next day

35. It was not caused by my family but has been blamed on us for the last 13 years'

36. My mother in law made a huge scene the day after and I didnt see it.If I would have there might have been an anullment.

37. For about 9 years I didnt call my in laws anything.

38. It was awkward. I know call them maria and Frank.

39. My brother in law calls them mom and dad.

40. Guess who is not the favorite

41. I have a phobia. It is the color pink. I cannot wear anything pink ever.

42. It was ok for my daughter to wear pink.

43. I will cut out a tag on the inside if it has pink on it.

44. I do not know when it started. I remember wearing pink in grade seven. i dont remember any particular thing that caused this.

45. In grade 12 My highschool bestfriend, my boyfriend and myself were in a pretty bad accident. The first thing I asked was is anybody wearing anything pink?

46. people were really rude to us at the accident scene and very nice to the other lady driver. They took her in the first ambulance. Even though it turns out I was the most hurt.

47. My boyfriend got a ticket that day and then his dad made him dispute it. Turns out the entire accident was the other ladys fault and they assumed it was us because we were teenagers. The ticket was dismissed.

48. I bite my nails and have for my whole life.

49. My biggest pet peeve is people who chew loudly or with their mouths open. It doesnt bother me if it is children only adults.

50. It is 2:30am I have to go to bed. I am an insomniac. And I know I have made many grammer and spelling mistaked. But I am tired.

51. I grew apart from most of my friends from highschool because I got married and had frankie by the time i was 20. We didnt have anything in common anymore.

52. but Facebook is so great for reconnecting

53. our house we are remodelling may be the death of us

54. I want to have one more child.

55. Not to sure is that will ever happen

56. I never thought I would only have 2 children

57. We packed up and moved 2 provinces away 3 years ago

58. My labour with Matteo was terrible

59. He fell out on the bed

60. The nurses didnt believe I was so far along in my labour,they sent me home

61. I didnt want to go. I knew the monitor was wrong

62. Then I didnt want to go back and if I would have waited 20 more minutes he would have been born at home

63. From the time I got home and back to the hospital was 41 minutes

64. It was so painful but so fast

65. I was had uncontrollable shaking after

66. I wouldnt let the nurse who sent me home and laughed at me when I got back come in the delivery room

67. But that being said the 2 nurses who delivered him were wonderful

68. I have had a weight problem my entire adult life

69. I have also had poly Cystic ovarian syndrome

70. They kinda go hand in hand and make one harder than the other

71. its kind it hard to turn off my brain at night

72. I sleep so restlessly

73. thinking about something that smells bad{rotten food} will make me gag

74. actually smelling it I will throw up

75. I hate mushrooms with a passion

76. It took me years to be able to cook them for my husband

77. I do not like tomatoes

78. But I like pasta sauce and ketchup

79. It is the texture I think

80. Other than those 2 I pretty much like all other vegetables

81. I could do without fruit. Rather a vegetable

82. I didnt like steak until becoming an adult

83. Now I love it

84. I hope to move back To Mission, when Frankie graduates

85. That is where i grew up not where I moved from recently

86. Frankie will go to school there. She likes it too

87. My husband is gone to work half of the month

88. I like it

89. Not to be mean but I am kinda a loner

90. I take after my aunt with this not my mother

91. My parents are attached at the hip

92. My son is 3 and I am having the hardest time potty training him

93. My daughter was no problem

94. My daughter slept in my bed until she was 6

95. my son is heading down the same path

96. I was never quiet around my children when the slept

97. They can sleep through anything

98. I am very unorganized

99. I get sidetracked very easily

100. I cannot wait to be in my own house again

Alittle more Spring please

We went out to play. It was sunny. But still frozen.



Matteo's imagination is so vivid. Frankie had two make believe friends Gordy and Nice. They went everywhere with us. But Matteo just in the last 2 weeks everything has become make believe. He has animals,toys friends and he acts out characters and animals. He has really been cracking me up.While we were outside he was a deer with a "huge rack".






Then the neighbour decided to work on his tractor. We dont live on farmland buddy. I got a cute picture of him on it but then it was like being in L.A and our fun was over.

Star Search

Some days I dont feel a day over 29. But then I would have been 17 when I had this star.













She brought tears to my eyes. The 3 girls that got picked were 15 and have done alot of performing. Including Telemiracle. But Frankie was the youngest and totally was in the top five.There were ten girls. She says i am only saying it because she is mine. Untrue,she was wonderful and ya she is mine but that doesnt count.

Doctors,needles and Sphincters oh my....

Exhausted after a day of poking and proding.

Well, sometimes a mom does know a thing or two. I knew Matteo didnt have Asthma. And the specialist confirmed it today!He has a weak Sphincter..

I didnt even know we had one let alone two of these,but we do. One is at the top of the stomach and one at the bottom.His weak one is the top. What does this mean? Well it means we will have to continue worrying everytime he coughs that there will be vomit. The alternative is a life threatening operation. Ummm pretty sure we can live with some puke!And he may grow out of it.

The Doctor did tell me what I had already figured.Many many doctors are taking the easy way out and labeling kids with asthma.

We also went for his first blood tests.That was traumatic for both of us. He kept moving so the had to poke him 3 times and dig around it was terrible.The nurse had to completly cover my 37pound three year old baby with her entire body. As well as me holding down his legs and one hand on his chest.He is a tough little guy.The blood tests are to check his lymphnoids and to try and figure out why a little scratch becomes a staph infection.All in all it was a very informative day.

But he is on the mend and maybe if he rested alittle he would get 100% better.This kid never sits still!

Mama guilt

Well, the sickie bug has hit Matteo. I think I forgot to knock on wood when I said he hadnt been sick in a while. I just dont get it with him. Most kids get sick and within a week they are better. Not him nooo. He gets sicker and sicker and we are close to 2 weeks now. It is times like this when my mommy guilt comes out. I never breastfed him not one time. I had planned to do just alittle and I didnt.{After what I considered a traumatic birth experience}. I did breastfeed Frankie for almost seven months and I feel she is much healthier.

But I still believe in a mothers choice and despise it when other moms are judgemental.It was my choice. I am a large, extremely large breasted woman and unless you are,you cannot possibly understand what it is like to breastfeed. Aside from the fact I couldnt even find a nursing bra in my size. And I am sure online I could have got one.But at the time I didnt have the means for online shopping.

With Frankie I was much smaller but have always been big in that department and I remembered how hard it was. Trying not to suffocate my little baby with a 40 pound weight on her face.

But that all being said,Why now do I feel so guilty. It is something I cannot change. But if I do have one more. If I am so blessed.I think I would try to breastfeed at least for a couple weeks.

We are off to see the doctor tomorrow and to ask for a referral to a peditrician.Get better little boy cause mama is mighty tired.


Daddy cut off his hair. I was so sad it took so long to grow out.But it is already like 2 inches longer.So maybe we will try again.

Even on a sad day...He cracks me up

If I am being honest....

If I am being truly honest, I am not happy with myself. It is something I have to work and I am trying.

If I am being honest, I have put off meeting new people in Saskatchewan.

If I am being honest I despise intimacy with my husband right now.

If I am being honest I avoid mirrors at all costs.

If I am being honest I have been afraid to make friends.



Now today I have decided.I have to respect myself,if I dont how can I expect other people too. I will admitt I am on a life change. In the process I have lost 19 pounds.I have also come to realize if someone doesnt like me because of how I look,then it wasnt worth being their friend anyway.I am not doormat and I am not a victim. And I need to stop acting as such.


My husband and I have set up counselling. We have decided we have something worth saving. We will not just throw away 14 years together and 12 and half years of marriage.

This is me,Brandee. Hello