Mama guilt

Well, the sickie bug has hit Matteo. I think I forgot to knock on wood when I said he hadnt been sick in a while. I just dont get it with him. Most kids get sick and within a week they are better. Not him nooo. He gets sicker and sicker and we are close to 2 weeks now. It is times like this when my mommy guilt comes out. I never breastfed him not one time. I had planned to do just alittle and I didnt.{After what I considered a traumatic birth experience}. I did breastfeed Frankie for almost seven months and I feel she is much healthier.

But I still believe in a mothers choice and despise it when other moms are judgemental.It was my choice. I am a large, extremely large breasted woman and unless you are,you cannot possibly understand what it is like to breastfeed. Aside from the fact I couldnt even find a nursing bra in my size. And I am sure online I could have got one.But at the time I didnt have the means for online shopping.

With Frankie I was much smaller but have always been big in that department and I remembered how hard it was. Trying not to suffocate my little baby with a 40 pound weight on her face.

But that all being said,Why now do I feel so guilty. It is something I cannot change. But if I do have one more. If I am so blessed.I think I would try to breastfeed at least for a couple weeks.

We are off to see the doctor tomorrow and to ask for a referral to a peditrician.Get better little boy cause mama is mighty tired.


Daddy cut off his hair. I was so sad it took so long to grow out.But it is already like 2 inches longer.So maybe we will try again.