Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Mama guilt

Well, the sickie bug has hit Matteo. I think I forgot to knock on wood when I said he hadnt been sick in a while. I just dont get it with him. Most kids get sick and within a week they are better. Not him nooo. He gets sicker and sicker and we are close to 2 weeks now. It is times like this when my mommy guilt comes out. I never breastfed him not one time. I had planned to do just alittle and I didnt.{After what I considered a traumatic birth experience}. I did breastfeed Frankie for almost seven months and I feel she is much healthier.

But I still believe in a mothers choice and despise it when other moms are judgemental.It was my choice. I am a large, extremely large breasted woman and unless you are,you cannot possibly understand what it is like to breastfeed. Aside from the fact I couldnt even find a nursing bra in my size. And I am sure online I could have got one.But at the time I didnt have the means for online shopping.

With Frankie I was much smaller but have always been big in that department and I remembered how hard it was. Trying not to suffocate my little baby with a 40 pound weight on her face.

But that all being said,Why now do I feel so guilty. It is something I cannot change. But if I do have one more. If I am so blessed.I think I would try to breastfeed at least for a couple weeks.

We are off to see the doctor tomorrow and to ask for a referral to a peditrician.Get better little boy cause mama is mighty tired.


Daddy cut off his hair. I was so sad it took so long to grow out.But it is already like 2 inches longer.So maybe we will try again.

1 comment:

Kami said...

Brandee! He is not sick because you didn't breastfeed him! NO WAY! Throw your guilt out the window. My kids were both breastfed and my oldest was sick from age 7 months to age 4 constantly with a cold...

For Jack it was a milk allergy, I am willing to bet there is some reason Mateo is sick too. And now Jack is hardly ever sick. Think of it as building an iron immune system!

No more guilt Brandee or I will drive down there and take your guilt down! :)